1 year on; 3 new screenplays & a magic cauldron

Ha, make em laugh, eh? More like, make yourself laugh. I just spotted an old post from a year ago: The Awful Art of Unwriting. It’s a confessional, where I admit to not having done a new spec screenplay (as opposed to a play) for about 5 years.

In the last year, I’ve written three: one comedy pilot (30 mins) and 2 dramas, an hour each.  They’re each still being polished in their own way, and one of them is under the radical surgeon’s knife, but blimey, it’s really worth a backwards glance from time to time.


Various other projects are still in the cauldron – not least the quantum 2-hander & the glorious, audience’s darling, Glitter Knickers – so if you have a time machine/  magic wand/ producer/ magic money tree, you’re very welcome to drop me a line…;)  And meanwhile, new things start to sizzle for theatre and screen (oh, boy, and how….)

Watch this space!

Women in TV

I’ve just read a great piece about women in TV written by Emma Reeves,  a show creator, playwright and WGGB award winner, into her research with the Writers Guild of Great Britain. Thanks to Philip Gladwin at Screenwriting Goldmine for letting me share it here.

Here are some headlines:

  • Analysing data from the five main channels over a five month period,  70% of all prime-time drama credited to a single writer was written by male writers, and 30% by women writers.
  • There was only 1 week when slightly more drama (55%) was written by women than men. But there were several weeks when 75% or more of prime-time drama episodes were written by men.
  • Of 106 episodes of Eastenders, for example, 70 were written by men – almost exactly 2/3 of available episodes.

So, what’s going on? Click through (no commission or gain to me!) and have a read:



Get creative on yo’ ass

The other day, I remembered that 2012 is going to be an exciting year. And then realised we’re 7/12s of the way through.

Apart from making me feel like my brain is falling has fallen through a hole in my saggy toddler-mum trews and lies spat on, in a wet puddle alongside the rotted tendrils of my once-feted perspicacity*, my “WTF” double-take at the calendar brought me up short.

First, I reacted like a self-loathing drunk (swap “what did I DO last night?” for “where have I been the last 7 months?”); and second, I felt like a working-from-home parent who sees that it’s two-thirty in the afternoon (“Oh, shit.”) This is not diminished by often being that W@H parent.

“Yes, Kirk,” I muttered to no-one at all, “it’s time to get creative on yo’ass.”

Five months before 2013 gets here. It’s not a number I especially warm to.

So here’s the 2012 To-Do List (in the order in which they’re salvaged from that wet puddle of fallen brain):

  • Find two wonderful theatre producers. One for a big society drama that makes you weep, one for a physical, druggy, political, post-Afghanistan one-man show. I know you’re out there, Auntie/Uncle Magic
  • Complete my spec TV serial script (from that fantastic Channel 4Screenwriting thing that might have a wee connection with the first six months of my 2012) with the magic dust I pilfered off the shoulders of giants
  • Get a decent draft together of a new political show, inspired by a bloke in the South West. I say no more…
  • Pin down those two pitchable ideas that are haunting my head – oh, yeah: and PITCH THEM!
  • And if – in the middle of all that – I find a wonderful agent (another Auntie/Uncle Magic), I’ll be happy.

No pressure. Advertising it all on the web to make me accountable, no hassle. Ha ha ha bonk.

* I assume you know no different